“But Mama, where is the feast?”

My just-turned-4-year-old kept coming out of his room on his birthday.  He’d already had his Big Birthday Celebration, and it was just our immediate family at home.  I lovingly told him that he’d have a feast after his nap.  And rest he did.  I scraped together every single form of leftover we had in the house, and he had about eight kinds of food at his feast.

But his words keep on echoing in my head.

“Where is the feast?”

As a homeschooler, and frankly, even just as a mother, I often wonder if I’m proving enough breadth and depth to my kids’ daily life and education.  I wonder if I’m touching their hearts and souls with even a fraction of the wonder and beauty that God’s goodness and creation deserves.  For God is the creator of mathematics, the organizer of grammar, the whisperer of poetry.  How do I convey this to them?  How do I give them a rich feast, laden with sumptuous and soulful subjects?

Then I take a look at my own plate.  And metaphorically, I have a small pile of corn.  Not a whole lot of nutritional benefit, just little tidbits of tastiness.  Smothered in butter and self-loathing.

I cannot give my children a feast, if I haven’t prepared a flavorful (and varied) fare for myself.

You’re talking about reading.  Ugh.  I know.  I love reading.  But who has time for that?  And when I do have time, wouldn’t it be better to just read about the multiple identity and parenting crises that are going on in my daily life?  

I cannot give my children what I do not have.  That about sums it up, right?

So as I prepare my list of reading and experiences I want to have in 2017, I have a feast in mind.  I want to paint the brush strokes broad and delve into topics that I wouldn’t normally read about.  I want to sink my teeth into some literature that I’ve put aside as too challenging.  I want to study theology, want to learn natural history, want to meet goals in the more concerted effort at gaining a second language.

I’ve set aside a list of books for myself to read next year….and I keep adding to it.  When I read with intention, I can make it through about a book a week (and I cycle through about three or four books ongoing at a time.)  My natural tendencies are to read books about spirituality, self-improvement, and parenting.  I don’t often allow myself to read fiction, as I have little self-control in that area and end up losing sleep and health because of it.


I’ve put my reading list out there for all to see…  It’s ambitious for a mom of young children.  Later on this week, I’m going to share some other things that I plan to do to self-educate this year, to learn skills and strengthen areas of weakness in my mind.

What is one of your “to-be-read” books? 


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